Script Sample

NARRATOR: This play is adapted from a fable by Leo Tolstoy... a dead Russian guy who wrote some really heavy stuff like War and Peace. We were going to perform War and Peace but it was 1500 pages long! Who has that sort of time? Our play is called The Three Questions and it begins in the Queens throne-room.

Scene One

QUEEN: (Entering with the Herald) Herald, I want to be a great Queen, just like my mother. If only I knew.

HERALD: If only you knew what?

QUEEN: If only I knew how to be a great Queen.

HERALD: A cup of tea is what you need! I'll call the Maid. (He exits and we hear him calling off stage in a very, very loud voice). Maid! Maid!

QUEEN: If only I knew the right time to do things, what those most important things are to do, and who the most important people are to work with, then I would be a great Queen.

HERALD: (Entering) The Maid is on her way. Tea is what you need.

QUEEN: I don't think tea is the answer. Call my Advisor's.

HERALD: (Calling in a very, very loud voice) Advisor's!

The Advisor's quickly march onto the stage talking loudly to each other.

HERALD: (In a very, very loud voice) Attention! All quiet for the Queen!

(Everyone hushes).

QUEEN: I have called you all here today to give me the answers to three questions.

(The maid interrupts her).

MAID: Now who wants a cup of tea?

ACCOUNTANT: Ooh that sounds nice.

HERALD: (To Maid) Do you mind? The Queen is speaking!

MAID: Opps, sorry.

QUEEN: As I said, I have asked you all here today to give me the answers to three questions.

MAID: Sugar?

ACCOUNTANT: One please.

HERALD: (To Maid) Do you mind? The Queen is speaking!

MAID: Opps, sorry.

QUEEN: Thank you!

COUNCELLOR: Can I have a cup of tea too?

MAID: Certainly. Sugar?

WISE PERSON: Two please.

HERALD: (To Maid and getting angry) Do you mind? The Queen is speaking!

MAID: Opps, sorry.

QUEEN: As I said, I have asked you all here today to give me the answers to three questions.

MAID: You should see my old Uncle / Aunty in the forest. He/She is very wise.

QUEEN: A wise peasant? Ha! Whoever heard of such a thing. No thank you. I have my Wise Advisor's. Now be quiet.

MAID: (Ignoring the Queens instruction) Fair enough. He/she wouldn't talk to a Queen anyway. He/she don't have any time for the rich and powerful. Now, anyone else for tea while I'm making some for these two?

QUEEN: Do you mind! I am trying to talk!

MAID: Opps, sorry. Forgive me Your Highness.

QUEEN: Thank you. Now as I was saying -

(She is cut off by the General).

GENERAL: Actually, I'll have a cup of tea too.

MAID: Sugar?

GENERAL: Yes please. Two.

The Queen screams and the HERALD bangs his staff on the floor.

MAID: Your Highness are you sure you don't want a cup of tea? I'm making a pot.

QUEEN: All right! Get me a blooming cup of tea!

MAID: Sugar?

QUEEN: No! Just get out of here!

MAID: All right. (Turns to leave). Opps almost forgot you HERALD... cup of tea?

QUEEN: Yes she will have a cup of tea and yes she has sugar!

MAID: Great.

HERALD: Actually I don't like tea.

MAID: Of course you don't. I knew that. Silly me. Coffee then?

HERALD: That would be great.

(The queen puts her head in her hands and groans).

MAID: Sugar?

HERALD: Three please.

MAID: I thought you were cutting down.

HERALD: Tried to but I failed.

MAID: Coming right up. (She exits).

NARRATOR: Wait! Stop there!

EVERYONE: What?

NARRATOR: There is nothing in this story about tea!

HERALD: How about coffee?

NARRATOR: No! Can we get on with the story please?

EVERYONE: OK. Sorry.

NARRATOR: Now your Highness, were you going to say something?

QUEEN: Yes! I have asked you all here today to give me the answers to three questions. These answers will make me a great Queen and I will give you a great reward.

... the script continues.